laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
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Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
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My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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