Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize