My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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