Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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