she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
