Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just invented taco cereal.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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