Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
