a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
