You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
