White coat. Heels.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
