In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
