The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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