ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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