I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
