So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
