yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He better not be in your backpack
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
