the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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