I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
