He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
