what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
