I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
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I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My feet surprised me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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