so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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