my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
