Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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