That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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