i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
