I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
