My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
