thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
two words...techno handjob
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
