How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
