So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
