mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
