i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
