just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
