Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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