People in love make me want to vomit
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
