haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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