Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
