Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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