I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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