I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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