you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
