I feel like abortions should bother me more
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize