ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
