now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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