I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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