Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
