just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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