hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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