I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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