yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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