Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
