I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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