Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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