on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
