how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i believe in u and ur pee
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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