Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
