Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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