it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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