i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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