Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
