I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
