ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
