You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
