Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I would ride that face into the sunset
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
