so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
